In ancient Hebrew culture, a marriage consisted of four parts. The first two were the preparation, and the last two were separate yet equally binding covenants. YHWH entered into a marriage covenant with the Israelites at the foot of Mount Sinai immediately after the exodus from Egypt. Yeshua completed the first three parts of the marriage covenant with us at his first coming, and will finalize the last part at his second coming.
Here are a hand full of websites where you can learn about about ancient Hebrew marriage customs (this is not an endorsement of these sites or their beliefs): bible-history.com, theology.edu, myjewishlearning.com, and jewishjewels.org.
The First Part: The Shiddukhin (שרוכין)
The bridegroom would ask the bride and her father for permission to marry. Upon their agreement, the two would make a mutual promise to contract marriage at some date in the future and set down the terms of the contract.
YHWH
Exodus 19:1-9 “In the third month of the going out of the sons of Israel from the land of Egypt, on this day they came to the wilderness of Sinai. And they pulled up stakes from Rephidim and came to the wilderness of Sinai. And they camped in the wilderness. And Israel camped there before the mountain. And Moses went up to God. And YHWH called to him from the mountain, saying You shall say this to the house of Jacob, and tell it to the sons of Israel. You have seen what I did to Egypt; and I bore you on wings of eagles and brought you to Me. And now if you will surely listen to My voice and will keep My covenant, you shall become a special treasure to Me above all the nations, for all the earth is Mine. And you shall become a kingdom of priests for Me, a holy nation. These are the words which you shall speak to the sons of Israel.
And Moses came and called to elders of the people. And he put all these words before them which YHWH commanded him. And all the people answered together and said, All which YHWH has spoken we will do. And Moses brought back the words of the people to YHWH. And YHWH said to Moses, Behold, I come to you in a darkness of clouds, so that the people may hear My speaking with you, and in you they may believe forever. And Moses told the words to the people of YHWH.”
Yeshua
Matthew 3:1-3 “Now in those days John the Baptist came preaching in the wilderness of Judea, and saying, Repent! For the kingdom of Heaven has drawn near. For this is he spoken of by Isaiah the prophet, saying; “The voice of one crying in the wilderness! Prepare the way of the Lord! Make His paths straight!”
Matthew 4:17 “From that time Jesus began to preach and to say Repent! For the kingdom of Heaven has drawn near.”
Matthew 4:18-22 “And walking beside the sea of Galilee, Jesus saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew, casting a net into the sea–for they were fishers. And He says to them, Come after Me, and I will make you fishers of men. And leaving the nets, they immediately followed Him. And going on from there. He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and his brother John, in the boat with their father Zebedee, mending their nets. And He called them. And at once leaving the boat and their father, they followed Him.”
Matthew 4:23 “And Jesus went around all Galilee teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom; and healing every disease and every one of the illnesses among the people.“
The Second Part: The Mikvah (מקוה)
The bride and bridegroom both immerse themselves, separately, in a pool of water in a symbolic spiritual cleansing. This usually takes place within four days of the erusin, the first contract and third part of the marriage covenant.
YHWH
Exodus 19:10-15 “And YHWH said to Moses, go to the people and sanctify them today and tomorrow. And let them wash their clothes. And be ready for the third day, For on the third day YHWH will go down before the eyes of all the people on the mountain of Sinai. And you shall set limits to the people all around, saying, Be careful for yourselves, not going up into the mountain and touching its border–everyone touching the mountain shall surely be killed. Not a hand shall touch him but surely he shall be stoned or surely he shall be shot through. He shall not live, whether animal or man. At the sounding of the ram’s horn, they shall go up into the mountain. And Moses went from the mountain to the people. And he sanctified the people, and they washed their clothes. And he said to the people, Be ready for the third day. Do not approach a woman.”
Yeshua
Mark 1:4-5 “John came baptizing in the wilderness, and proclaiming a baptism of repentance for forgiveness of sins. And all the Judean country and those of Jerusalem went out to him, and were all baptized by him in the Jordan River, confessing their sins.”
Mark 1:9 “And it happened in those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee, and was baptized by John in the Jordan.”
Our baptism is our Mikvah, our spiritual cleansing.
The Third Part: The Erusin (אירוסין)
After the Mikvah, the two would enter a chuppah (marriage canopy), which was symbolic of the new home they would have together. Under the canopy, they would establish the Erusin, which was the first of two binding marriage contracts. This written contract would outline what the bridegroom would provide for the bride, and the responsibilities of both parties to the marriage. The bridegroom would give the bride something of value, such as a ring or money and they would seal their vows with a shared cup of wine.
At this point, the couple was considered married, even though they did not live together or have sexual relations. To annul this contract would require a divorce.
The bridegroom would now leave his bride and her family and return to the house of his father to prepare a place for her there. He would be gone for an undetermined length of time, but it was usually about a year, or until his father gave final approval for him to return for his bride. He would return blowing the shofar (ram’s horn).
The bride spent the time he was away preparing herself and making her garments. Because she did not know for sure how long he would be gone, she kept her oil lamp full of oil and lit at all times.
When they left together, they would lead the bridal procession to his father’s house, to the place he had prepared for her, blowing the shofar as they went.
YHWH
Exodus 19:16-25 “And on the third day, it being morning, it happened: There were thunders and lightings, and a heavy cloud on the mountain and the sound of a ram’s horn, very strong! And all the people in the camp trembled. And Moses caused the people to go up from the camp to meet God. And they took their stand at the lower part of the mountain. And the mountain of Sinai was smoking, all of it, because YHWH came down on it in fire. And its smoke went up like the smoke of a furnace; and the mountain quaked exceedingly. And it happened while the sound of the ram’s horn was sounding, and becoming very strong. Moses spoke. And God answered him by a voice. And YHWH came down on the mountain of Sinai, to the top of the mountain; and YHWH called Moses to the top of the mountain, and Moses went up . And YHWH said to Moses, Go down, warn the people lest they break through to gaze at YHWH, and many of them fall. And also the priests those approaching YHWH, let them sanctify themselves that YHWH not burst forth among them.
And Moses said to YHWH, The people are not able to come up to the mountain of Sinai. For you warned us, saying, Set limits to the mountain and sanctify it. And YHWH said to him, Come go down. And you come up and Aaron with you. And let not the priests and the people break through to come up to YHWH, lest, He burst forth among them. And Moses went down to the people and spoke to them.”
Mount Sinai and the heavy cloud were like the people being under the chuppah (marriage canopy) with God.
Exodus 20-23 is God laying out the the details of the erusin. This is the marriage covenant that YHWH made with the Israelites.
Exodus 24 is the Israelites agreeing to the contract terms. Moses wrote the contract terms down. The people made a blood offering on the alter. YHWH gave Moses the commandments in stone.
Exodus 24:15-18 “And Moses went up into the mountain. And a cloud covered the mountain And the glory of YHWH dwelt on the mountain of Sinai. And the cloud covered it six days. And He called to Moses on the seventh day from the midst of the cloud. And the appearance of the glory of YHWH was like fire burning on the top of the mountain before the eyes of the sons of Israel. And Moses came into the midst of the cloud, and he went up into the mountain. And Moses was in the mountain forty days and forty nights.”
During this time, chapters 25 through 31, YHWH gives Moses detailed instructions on building the ark of the covenant, the mercy-seat, the lamp stand (Menorah), the tabernacle, the holy garments for Aaron and his descendants (the Levitical priests), as well as instructions on sanctifying the priests, the altar, and the oil for anointing. Preparing everything takes the Israelites a year.
Exodus 23:20-21 “Behold, I am about to send an Angel before you, to guard you in the way, and to bring you to the place which I have prepared. Be observant before Him, and listen to His voice. Do not be rebellious against Him, for He will not forgive your transgressions; for My name is in Him.”
Yeshua
Mark 14:12,17,22-25 “And on the first day of the unleavened bread, when they killed the passover, His disciples said to Him, Where do you desire that going we may prepare that You may eat the passover?” “And evening having come, He came with the Twelve.” “And as they were eating Jesus taking a loaf, blessing He broke and gave to them, And He said, Take, eat, this is My body. And taking the cup, giving thanks, He gave to them. And they all drank out of it. And He said to them, This is My blood, that of the New Covenant, which is poured out concerning many.”
John 14:1-4 “Do not let your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places. But if it were not so I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you! And if I go and prepare a place for you, I am coming again, and will receive you to Myself, that where I am you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.”
Matthew 25:1-13 “Then the kingdom of Heaven shall be compared to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to the meeting of the bridegroom. And five of them were wise, and five foolish. Those being foolish, taking their lamps did not take oil with them. But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But the bridegroom delaying, all nodded and slept. And at midnight a cry occurred; Behold the bridegroom comes! go out to meet him. Then all those virgins rose up and prepared their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out. But the wise answered, saying, No, lest there not be enough for us and you. But rather go to those who sell, and buy for yourselves, But they, going away to buy, the bridegroom came. And those ready went in with him to the wedding feast; and the door was shut. And afterwards the rest of the virgins also came, saying, Lord, Lord open to us. But answering he said. Truly I say to you, I do not know you. Therefore, watch, for you do not know the day nor the hour in which the Son of man comes.”
Matthew 24:36 “But as to that day and that hour, no one knows, neither the angels in Heaven except My Father only.”
Revelation 16:15 Behold, I am coming as a thief. Blessed is the one watching and keeping his garments, that he does not walk naked, and they may see his shame.
Matthew 24:42 “Watch, then, for you do not know in what hour your Lord comes.”
Isaiah 22:22 “And the key of the house of David I will lay on his shoulder, so that he opens, and no one shuts; and he shuts and no one opens.”
Revelation 3:7 “And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia, write: These things says the Holy One, the True One, the One having the key of David, the One opening, and no one shuts, and shuts and no one opens;”
Revelation 14:1,4 “And I saw, and behold, the Lamb standing on Mount Zion! And with Him were a hundred and forty-four thousands, with the name of His Father having been written on their foreheads.” “These are the ones who were not defiled with woman, for they are virgins. These are the ones following the Lamb wherever He may go. These were redeemed from among men as first-fruit to God and to the Lamb.”
The Fourth Part: The Nissuin (נשואין)
The second binding contract of the marriage is called the nissuin (נשואין), meaning to take, from the primitive root nashaw (נשא), meaning to lift up.
After bringing his bride home to his father’s house, they would again enter the chuppah. The bride would circle the bridegroom seven times before taking her place beside him. Then they would recite a blessing and have wine, then give their verbal vows to each other, followed by seven days of feasting and celebration. (see Judges 14:10-12) This seven-day feast is called the marriage supper.
YHWH
Exodus 40:17 “And it happened in the first month, in the second year, on the first of the month, the tabernacle was raised up.”
Exodus 40:34 “And the cloud covered the tabernacle of the congregation; and the glory of YHWH filled the tabernacle.”
So, YHWH joined the Israelites in the tabernacle to travel with them to bring them home to the promised land.
In Deuteronomy 5-26, Moses reiterates the commandments of YHWH and the covenant they entered into at Horeb. He outlines the blessings and the curses. This is the repeating of the marriage vows.
In Deuteronomy 27-30 Moses lays out the blessings that YHWH will bring them if they obey His commandments, and the curses that will befall them if they fail to obey.
Joshua and the Israelites circle Jericho seven times.
Joshua 24:1-13 And Joshua gathered all the tribes of Israel to Shechem, and called for the elders of Israel, and for its heads, and for its judges, and for its officers. And they presented themselves before God. And Joshua said to all the people, So says YHWH the God of Israel, Your fathers have in the past lived Beyond the River–Terah the father of Abraham and father of Nahor–and they served other gods. And I took your father Abraham from Beyond the River, and caused him to go through all the land Canaan, and multiplied his seed, and gave Isaac to him. And I gave Jacob and Esau to Isaac. And I gave Mount Seir to Esau, to possess it. And Jacob and his sons went down to Egypt. And I sent Moses and Aaron and plagued Egypt, as I did in its midst. And afterward I brought you out. And I brought your fathers out from Egypt and you went into the sea, and the Egyptians pursed after your fathers with chariots and with horsemen, into the Red Sea. And they cried to YHWH, and He set thick darkness between you and the Egyptians, and brought the sea on them, and covered them. And your eyes saw that which I have done in Egypt. And you lived in the wilderness many days, And I brought you into the land of the Amorite who lived beyond the Jordan. And they fought with you and I gave them into your hand, and you possessed their land. And I destroyed them before you, And Balak the son of Zippor, the king of Moab, rose up and fought against Israel, and sent and called for Balaam the son of Beor to curse you. And I was not willing to listen to Balaam, and he greatly blessed you, And I delivered you out of his hand. And you crossed over the Jordan and came to Jericho. And the masters of Jericho fought against you, the Amorite and the perizzite, and the Caananite, and the Hittite, and the Girgashite, and the Hivite, and the Jebusite; and I gave them into your hand. And I sent the hornet before you, and it cast them out before you, two kings of the Amorite, not by the sword nor by your bow. And I have given you a land for which you have not labored, and cities which you have not built, and you live in them, You are eating of vineyards and oliveyards which you did not plant.
Joshua 24:14-15 Now, then, fear YHWH, and serve Him in sincerity and truth and turn away from the gods which your fathers served Beyond the River, and in Egypt; and you serve YHWH. And if it seems evil in your eyes to serve YHWH, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve–whether the gods whom your fathers served Beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you were living–but as for me and my house, we will serve YHWH.
Joshua 24:16-18 And the people replied and said, Far be it from us to forsake YHWH, to serve other gods. For YHWH our God is He who has brought us and our fathers out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage, and who has done these great signs before our eyes, and has preserved us in all the way in which we have gone, and among all the people through whom we have passed. And YHWH has cast out all the peoples, even the Amorite inhabiting the land before us. We also shall serve YHWH, for He is our God.
Joshua 24:26-28 And Joshua wrote these words in the book of the law of God, and took a great stone and raised it up there under the oak by the sanctuary of YHWH. And Joshua said to all the people, Behold, this stone shall be a witness against us, for it has heard all the saying of YHWH which He has spoken with us. And it shall be against you for a witness, that you not lie against your God. And Joshua sent the people away, each to his inheritance.
Leviticus 23:33-34 “And YHWH spoke to Moses, saying, Speak to the sons of Israel, saying, In the fifteenth day of this seventh month shall be a Feast of Booths seven days to YHWH.”
Yeshua
Matthew 22:2-14 “The Kingdom of Heaven is compared to a man, a king, who made a wedding feast for his son. And he sent his servants to call those who had been invited to the wedding feast; but they did not desire to come. Again, he sent other servants, saying, tell the ones invited, Behold, I have prepared my supper; my oxen, and the fatlings are killed, and all things ready; come to the wedding feast. But not caring, they went away, one to his own field, and one to his trading. And the rest, seizing his servants, insulted and killed them. And hearing, the king became angry. And sending his armies, he destroyed those murderers and burned their city. Then he said to his servants, Indeed, the wedding feast is ready, but those who had been invited were not worthy. Therefore, go onto the exits of the highways and call to the wedding feast as many as you can find.
And going out into the highways those servants gathered all, as many as they found, both evil and good. And the wedding feast was filled with reclining guests. And the king, coming in to look over those reclining, he saw a man there not being dressed in a wedding garment. And he said to him, friend, how did you come in here, not having wedding garments? But he was silent. Then the king said to the servants, bind his feet and hands, take him away, and throw him out into the outer darkness. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few are chosen.”
Revelation 3:18 (Yeshua speaking to the apostate church of Laodicea) “I advise you to buy from Me gold having been refined by fire that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed and your shame and nakedness may not be revealed. And anoint your eyes with eye-salve, that you may see.”
Revelation 3:4-5 (Yeshua speaking to the church of Sardis) You also have a few names in Sardis which did not defile their robes, and they shall walk with Me in white because they are worthy. The one overcoming, this one shall be clothed in white garments, and I will not at all blot his name out of the Book of Life; and I will acknowledge his name before My Father, and before His angels.
Revelation 6:11 And there was given to each one a white robe. And it was said to them that they should rest yet a little time, until might be fulfilled also the number of their fellow servants and their brothers, those being about to be killed, even as they.
Revelation 7:9 After these things I saw, and behold, a great crowd which no one was able to number them, out of every nation, even tribes and peoples and tongues standing in front of the throne, and before the Lamb, having been clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands.
Revelation 7:13-14 And one of the elders answered, saying to me, These, the ones having been clothed in the white robes, who are they, and from where did they come? And I said to him, Sir, you know. And he said to me, These are those coming out of the great tribulation; and they washed their robes and whitened them in the blood of the Lamb.
Matthew 13:41-42 (Yeshua is explaining the parable of the darnel of the field, and what will come at the end of this age) The Son of man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all the offenses, and those who practice lawlessness, And they will throw them into the furnace of fire; there will be weeping and gnashing of the teeth. Then the righteous will shine out like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. The one having ears to hear, let him hear.
Luke 13:28 There will be weeping and gnashing of the teeth when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, but you being thrust outside.
Jeremiah 31:31 Behold, the days come, says YHWH, that I will cut a new covenant with the House of Israel, and with the House of Judah, not according to the covenant that I cut with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt–which covenant of Mine they broke, although I was a husband to them, says YHWH–but this shall be the covenant that I will cut with the house of Israel: After those days, declares YHWH, I will put My law in their inward parts, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. And they shall no longer each man teach his neighbor, and each man his brother, saying, know YHWH. For they shall all know Me, from the least of them, even to the greatest of them, declares YHWH. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sins no more.
Revelation 19:6-9 And I heard as a sound of a numerous crowd, and as a sound of many waters, and as a sound of strong thunders, saying, Hallelujah! Because the Lord God Almighty reigned. Let us rejoice and let us exult, and we will give glory to Him, because the marriage of the Lamb came, and His wife prepared herself. And it was given to her that she be clothed in fine linen, pure and bright; for the fine linen is the righteousness of the saints.
And he says to me, write: Blessed are the ones having been called to the supper of the marriage of the Lamb. And he said to me, these words of God are true.
May you be blessed by this study. Shalom.